Recently babies have obviously been on the geekdaughter’s mind. A couple of times she’s said to me “I wish we had another baby Mummy. I really love my brother, but I wish we had another baby too”. My answer to her is always the same “Mummy won’t be having any more babies. Mummy thinks our family of four is the perfect size”. Then we have a big cuddle, and we do something else…
I’m being completely honest with her. I really do feel like my family is complete. For me the decision to have one child was a decision made by my heart, the decision to have a second, to willingly put ourselves back through those horrendous early months again, was very much a head decision. Being an only child myself, I grew up desperately wanting siblings (in fact my imaginary friend was always a younger brother), so I knew if I ever ended up having kids of my own, I’d want more than one. It took me a long time to be ready to be a Mum, and I still don’t consider myself particularly maternal. But I must say, with my two gorgeous children in my life, both the head and the heart are now completely contented.
I appreciate this is a very personal decision. Some parents are completely happy with one child, some want a whole brood. I have friends who know their families are complete, whatever size they are, I have friends who still feel like there’s a little hole in the family. I know this isn’t always a straightforward decision for everyone, but it is for me.
The geekdaddy and I have both felt that our family is complete since the geekson was born, almost two years ago. We’ve been in agreement as to how we’re going to make sure that we don’t have any new additions to our family for almost that long, and our solution is for the geekdaddy to have a little operation. Before you worry, yes I have checked that he’s OK with me talking about it here.
It seems ironic doesn’t it? A couple who struggled to conceive, who went through years of fertility treatment ending up with IVF in order to have children now talking about contraception. Several people have looked at me with raised eyes when I have mentioned that the geekdaddy is going to have this little operation and said “is that really necessary?!”. Maybe not, but I’d rather be safe. Everyone has a little urban legend about the couple who struggled for kids first time around who then found themselves with a happy accident a few years later. And I don’t want to be that couple. So we’re playing safe.
Next Tuesday is the day. It’s a small enough operation that it’s done in our local doctor’s clinic – we don’t even have to go to hospital for it. I’ve got the day off work to drive him there and back. I think he’s apprehensive, but resigned to the whole thing. He’s just got one rule – we’re not allowed to mention the “V” word. He’s referring to the whole experience as his “spa day” – it’s even in our calendar as that!
So I can say with completely certainty to the geekdaughter that there won’t be any more babies in the house. She’ll have to play with her dolls if she wants any more…